Prometheus: Love Your Liver! T-shirt

Och, sure look it, isn’t it the tragic irony of the ages draped across your chest? Here we have poor old Prometheus, the Titan who stole fire from the gods—likely to light a cigarette in the rain, the poor craythur—only to be chained to a rock in the Caucasus for an eternity of avian gastroenterology. A eagle, sharp of beak and lacking in table manners, descends daily to dine upon his hepatic lobe, a visceral recurring nightmare that would put a Sunday morning hangover in Dublin to shame. "Love Your Liver!" the shirt cries, a slogan screaming into the void of biological necessity. Is it a warning? A plea? Or a cruel joke whispered by Zeus himself over a pint of ambrosia? Written in the cotton-poly blend of history, this garment is a Joycean stream of consciousness woven into wearable art. It says, "I contain multitudes, and currently, a large bird is eating one of them." Perfect for medical students, Greek scholars, recovering alcoholics with a dark sense of humour, or anyone who feels like their 9-to-5 job is merely a giant bird pecking out their insides, only for them to heal overnight so they can do it all again on Monday. Soft as the mist on the Liffey, durable as a grudging resent, and fitting like a glove on a hand that’s just robbed Olympus. 'Tis the fashion statement for the martyr in us all. Why You Need This Shirt: Conversation Starter: "Is that a vulture?" "No, it's a metaphor for my credit card debt." Anatomical Awareness: Reminds you that your liver is the only thing standing between you and poisoning yourself with fermented potato water. Mythological Street Cred: Shows you know your Titans from your Olympians, you clever clogs. A Factual Fact in the Spirit of The Onion: Did you know that the ancient Greeks were actually onto something with this whole torture method? The liver is the only human internal organ capable of natural regeneration. You can lose up to 75% of your liver and it will grow back to its full size, a biological miracle that suggests Prometheus wasn't so much "tortured" as he was "unwittingly participating in the world's longest-running organ donor study."